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Getting your kid a smartphone? Talk about these 6 things first

With Christmas just around the corner, your child may be hoping that there is a smartphone under the tree. However, that little piece of technology can lead to a lot of issues. Here are 6 things that you need to talk to your child about before Christmas day. 

Why smartphones should come with a conversation

Getting your child a smartphone is a huge step for both you and them. For many children, it will be a new sense of digital privacy that they haven’t yet experienced. They’ll have the ability to talk to their friends, access the internet and use applications themselves, and often in a way which isn’t immediately visible to you.

As such, it’s important to have a chat about smartphone use and how to be safe online, so that they can start to develop the skills to take care of themselves when using the internet. Make sure you’ve talked to your child about:

1. Screen time

If you’re setting restrictions around screen time, it is important to communicate these restrictions clearly with your child and discuss the consequences of not abiding by those restrictions. Help this conversation along by explaining why these restrictions are in place, and also reflecting on your own relationship with your smartphone, so that both of you can abide by the same agreement.

2. Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying can be incredibly distressing for children, particularly as it can feel inescapable. Ask your child about the kind of behaviour that might leave them feeling upset, how they want to be treated online, and where to get support if they are being bullied online. This might include encouraging the child to think about who they feel comfortable talking to when they’re experiencing something online that leaves them feeling sad, worried, or scared.

3. Inappropriate content

As your child accesses social media, applications, games and the internet in general, they may come across inappropriate content that leaves them feeling uncomfortable , unsafe or confused. This could be pornographic content, content that includes violence, or content that promotes self harm. Ensure that your child knows that they can talk to you, or someone else if they see something that distresses them.

4. Fake news and misinformation

Fake news may come in the form of content that is shared online that isn’t true, information that is presented as fact, or people that are pretending to be someone else. Make sure your child knows how to check if something is real or not, and encourage them to come and ask you if they have seen something that they can’t identify as fact or fiction. Talking to your children about trusted sources can also be useful here.

5. Security and scams

Just because your child might not have access to a bank account, it doesn’t mean scams won’t arrive in your child’s WhatsApp, email address or social media accounts. Discuss what a scam text, email or message might look like, and encourage them to bring their phone to you when they’re asked to click a link, or give a website information about themselves.

6. Sharing content online

Once your child is on social media, they’re likely to be encouraged to share everything about themselves, including photos, their locations, their thoughts and their identity. Help your child be prepared by discussing what is ok to share and what is not ok. Make sure to have a conversation about what to do when they’re asked to share information which is private, or inappropriate photos and videos of themselves.

Need some more resources?

If you’re worried about having these conversations with your child, you’re not alone. Some of these topics can feel incredibly loaded, and it can also be difficult to know how to communicate in an age appropriate way. There are a few resources that we’d recommend using to help start the conversation.

  • NSPCC’s Talking to children about online safety

    The NSPCC website has a huge amount of information, including a section about teaching your child how to be safe online. There are also online safety resources including PANTS, a family agreement, and tips to help you have the conversation in a way which encourages your child to engage.

  • LEGO’s Build & Talk

    LEGO’s Build & Talk are a series of six adventures, each one of them focusing on an aspect of online safety, including cyberbullying, screen time, false information online, online security, privacy and safe sharing and digital footprints. These are designed to be read by a parent or carer, and have building activities for the child as you progress, as well as prompts to help start conversations about online safety.

  • Interland

    Interland is a game from Google which takes children through four worlds; Tower of Treasure, which focuses on online security, Kind Kingdom, which focuses on being kind online, Reality River, which focuses on false information, and Mindful Mountain, which focuses on what you share online. The information is given throughout the gameplay so that your child can learn as they play.

Although these conversations may be difficult, they’re incredibly important to ensure your child is prepared for using the internet, and keeping your child safe online. Having these talks with your child will make sure they’re ready for their first smartphone, and most importantly, feel comfortable coming to you if something doesn’t feel right.

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